“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.”

January 22, 2016 at 12:17 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Symptoms of Inner Peace


Have you ever noticed that most assessment tools focus on the negative. For example, the stress indicator will tell you just how stressed you are (in case you didn’t already know that!). Guess what that does? Makes you more stressed! And in turn, you attract more stress.

How about we switch it up and focus on the assessing the positive, because, guess what? You create more positive!

So, assess away and quiz your friends on their level of Inner Peace!

How Able Are You To:

1. Think and act spontaneously rather than from fear based experiences?

2. Enjoy each moment?

3. Not judge other people?

4. Not judge yourself?

5. Not interpret the actions of others?

6. Not engage in conflict, especially with a certain person or persons, over and over again? Yet experience the conflict as the person just having a different perspective than you?

7. Not worry?

8. To have overwhelming episodes of appreciation?

9. Have amazing feelings of connectedness with others and nature?

10. Have frequent attacks of smiling?

11. To let things happen?

12. To love unconditionally? Yourself and others?

How did you rate yourself out of 12? What area’s can you work on?! Some solutions:
-Can you find an accoutability partner that can help you work on your Level of Inner Peace? This person would check in with you on the area’s you are not the best at yet! Make sure it’s not the person you are constantly engaging in conflict with ;)!

-Another option is to put an elastic band around your wrist. You flick it when you are not consciously able to do one of the above. This will start to train your brain that you’d like a different reaction to occur! See how long you have to wear the band for before you are consciously acting differently. Depending on what you read, they say habits can take anywhere from 45 to 90 days.

However you chose to amp up your level of inner peace, I wish you success!

We know life happens and that there can be sh*t storms that are a part of that. So as you are working through gaining the above 12 ways to gain inner peace…have a place where you can go in your head that can transform your whole body into a state of inner peace. You may have heard that referred to before as your “happy place”! Describe your happy place to your accountability partner, write about it in your journal, and/or find a picture that capture the essence of it and place it where you spend a good part of your day. Train yourself to be able to go to your happy place, no matter where you are or what’s going on around you!


Depending on where you are reading this from: Good Morning! Good Afternoon! Good Night! I wish you an amazingly fantastical journey and look forward to Learning To FLY with you!

ps=This would be my happy place!



I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.

January 20, 2016 at 4:26 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Thank you to all who have been following and who have been letting me know that they feel I’m an inspiration. Those words have certainly aided me in my journey over the years!

I wanted to share more about how I became conscious. This consciousness has led me to the understanding that life is actually pretty simple in that I create my life by my choices. It’s been a freeing journey!

I adore the place I’m in right now. It is a place of knowing that I am the co-creator of my life with the universe. Life creates the facts and I create a story about what is real to me about the facts. The story is how I qualify, justify, and explain what I perceive. My story is my creation. In knowing I have that power, why wouldn’t I create it to be a masterpiece of art?! YOU have that power as well!

This is an excerpt from an older journalling exercise I did about how Learn To FLY (First Love Yourself) came to fruition. With re-starting the program, I thought I would share where I was at when I started it!

December 2009

My transformational process began with what I have coined my “wake-up episode” on Dec. 16, 2008. It was on this day that I acknowledged to myself and to a team of professionals that I was in an abusive relationship. I didn’t value myself enough to realize that it was unhealthy for me, it took me seeing the abuse turned on my kids that made me own up to that fact. I will articulate what I went through in coming to that realization and then in coining it as my “wake-up episode” that transformed my life. It brought me to the conscious state I’m at now, where I feel happy just because and feel the wealthiest I’ve ever been. Have you had a wake up episode? Has it transformed you? Would you consider yourself happy just because? Do you consider yourself wealthy?

I will admit that there have been times along my journey where I felt unhappy and broken. There are mornings I would awake and for a couple mere precious seconds, I’d forgotten what was happening in my life. And then it would hit me, like a stab to the heart. There were some days it took every ounce of strength I had in me to face the day before me. These were days that I had to carefully select my thoughts just as I selected my clothes. It was a new habit to get into and a very powerful one at that! It’s a power YOU can cultivate too! I knew that if I couldn’t master my thoughts that I was in trouble. It was an amazing distinction to fully get that I was in control of my thoughts and that they weren’t in control of me. Do you control your thoughts? If not, who or what is? Think about how you spend your time: do you take time to cultivate your thoughts?

Having went through that broken state of mind was a good thing. Yes because it taught me that I was in control of my thoughts! Also, it gave me insight into what a mental illness felt like and how that dis ease can be turned around. So important to understand that reality is a perception which we create. So as I stated above, YOU can choose to create your’s into a masterpiece!

At this point, I needed some answers for myself as to why I stayed in such a relationship. Why did someone (me!) who had studied the abuse cycle in school and have the training of a professional, stay? What I learned was that every behaviour has a need associated with it. I was getting something out of the relationship or I wouldn’t have stayed. Wow, this felt at the time like another slap in the face as it would have been a lot easier to put the blame elsewhere. Look at places in your life where you are putting the blame on someone else for something that has gone wrong or is going wrong, figure out what you are got out of it or are getting out of it. Be compassionate with yourself and do it from a place of love. Be human!

Ok so I’ve admitted the fact that I willingly chose an abusive relationship to myself, the world, my children, family and new and old friends. I’ve had the children and I screened and it’s been recommended to go for abuse specific therapy and develop a safety plan around not going back to the relationship. I moved five provinces to fulfill both those requirements. My children and I start abuse specific therapy. I, in the meantime, am reconnecting with my old place of work and living in an unhealthy situation that feels as though it’s the only choice. Notice here I was under the illusion that I had no choice. When you do that you give up power. And if you’re not making your choices than who is? I was not fully conscious of this fact in all facets of my life and in giving up that power, there were days I was barely treading water. However, I was living and learning! Where in your life is someone making choices for you? Do you realize that every choice, even the one not to do nothing, is still a choice?

The intense therapy group my older son and I went to provided this amazing place where we both were able to go “blah” and these other incredibly strong and resilient women and children didn’t judge, blame, or condemn us. We all let each other “be”. This is the first time in a long time that I feel safe enough to just be. This is my first conscious experience of testing out the fact that I could “be” while not caring what others would think of me. Where in your life are you able to “be” without truly caring what others think of you?

Initially in the group, because in some ways I felt superior with all my professional training on the subject of abuse, I noted that I searched for an answer to the questions the therapists asked us and double checked it to see if it was the “right” textbook answer. A sure example that knowledge and/or cleverness can get in the way of just being. Where in life do you block out others or yourself because you know better? Or because instead of listening and hearing, you are searching and reacting?

This group also provided the space to learn from each other’s miss takes. As we all were at different points on our separation path. It was the first time where miss takes were taken as facts of what happened and therefore not to be condemned and personalized but to be learned from. Wouldn’t that be cool if we could all come from a place of such love and compassion that people would feel free to share not only their triumphs but their failures as well so that everybody could learn from them?! I truly hope that somebody learns something from my path!

Over this intense group therapy process, I start to learn the reasons why I stayed. Remember: every behaviour has a meaning. So I wanted to know why I stayed to figure what I needed as then I could figure out how to get it in a healthy way. What behaviours are you engaging in that you know are unhealthy or you suspect might be unhealthy or you have been told that they are unhealthy? Now take a deep breath and start to figure out what you are getting out of engaging in those behaviours. Again, be compassionate with yourself.

Want to know what I figured out?!

-I love to love. I thought my love would overcome anything. I thought that the theory I applied to my professional role, which was that all someone needs is one person in their life to show them unconditional love and they will be able to transform, applied to my personal life as well. I don’t want to say I thought I could change the person, but I want to suggest that I thought it was possible through my love. Important for me to be aware of this as I move through life. While I will continue to be the loving person I am, the love superhero cape has been hung up and only comes out on special occasions ;). Where in your life could your strength also be your weakness? Remember to find a balance and to remember you are human!

-I was brought up to be “the nice girl”. That meant that you did what you were told, what was expected and what was deemed right and thereby, your voice was not really developed, never mind heard. I rarely spoke my mind in issues related to me. I held my thoughts in, even though it was slowly killing me inside. I was scared of being perceived to not be the nice girl. I was scared of what people would think of that. I also never wanted to upset someone. Being in the relationship dynamic I was in, there was also fear attached to speaking my voice. In the end, everyone got hurt though. I suffered greatly in that I lost who I was. I hurt my partner who knew I wasn’t being genuine and felt as though I never loved or trusted in him or us enough. My children were taught that it was ok to be bullied and not speak up. And in the end, it all ended up going to hell anyway ;). Where in your life are you not doing something because it might upset someone? In doing that, is it helping anyone? Is it changing the person or the situation?

-Once I learned that I had to take responsibility for not defending myself, I engaged in the “what if” game. I’ve since realized that the “what if” game is not conducive to things that are in your past or your future, because all you have is now. Where in your life do you play the “what if” game? Next time you find yourself saying that, remember to be conscious of where you are at!

-I wanted to be with the father of my children. I didn’t want to be labelled “one of them”–be that a divorce, single mom or abused woman statistic. Oops, admitting that I had judgements about other’s which really meant that I had those judgements about myself. Where in your life do you not consider an option or even see an option because of labelling and judgements?

-I didn’t want my children to have another mother. I will admit that this still gives me pause but I breathe through it. I have no control over this even if I did stay in that relationship. And, I’ve been very lucky in my life to have “other Mom’s” so really how hypocritical am I being?! Somebody may need to remind me of this though when that time comes for my children! See, even someone as far along on their journey as I am ( 🙂 ) still has their moments! Where are you trying to control things that you cannot? Once you realize this you essentially have three choices: change it, accept it or leave it.

-As my immediate family was not the intact family unit that I had growing up, I wanted to provide an intact family unit to my kids. Here I was allowing my past to dictate my present and my future. Do you do this anywhere in your life?

-I embraced the it’s “us” (my partner and I) versus “the world” mentality. I felt like we were on a team and therefore I had to defend my team and stay true to this! First off I realize that mentality is unhealthy in and of itself. Why do we have to pit people against one another in an “us” versus “them” way? It’s bound to lead to unhealthy choices. And, furthermore, I got lost in the team. So how true of  team was it?! Where might competitive type thoughts dictate your actions and make your choices for you? Are you on any teams where you feel swallowed up by them as opposed to part of them?

-And, drum roll please, I was only human. I did the best I could at that moment in time. No more. No less. When putting it that simplistically, it gave me great peace. Any places in your life where you try to be sub-human?! Maybe give it a break and see how that works for you!

-And the most important thing I started to understand for myself was that I wasn’t defined by this. It was a part of my past which brought me to my today and that was it. I could let go of the guilt of not feeling as though I had enough love to heal my partner. I could let go of the guilt of not giving my children the storybook perfect life. I could be a statistic three times over and still be proud and happy! I could want love and family and seek healthy ways to find them. I could speak and be valued. I could start fresh from that realization moment forward and just be me 🙂 🙂 🙂

Oh darn, I had to then figure out who this “me” was?! I had buried me for so long that I couldn’t answer what my favourite colour was or what type of movie genre I liked most. I had run away from my reality so much that I was caught in the trap of the “what I had and what I could have had and what I want to have”.  First step, I had to start being present in the moments I was in and start realizing how I reacted to certain things. For example, to determine what might be a favourite colour of mine: I had to be conscious of colours around me and how I reacted to them. Very basic and exactly the right spot for me to start at. If you want to start being more conscious, start here! Do you notice certain smells that capture your attention? Do you notice certain beats of music get your feet moving? Are you able to be present in even the most tense of moments and ground yourself by wiggling your toes?!

Have you ever noticed, the more you get to know a person, the more attractive they become to you?! Because everything beautiful you see on the inside of them, radiates through to the outside of them?! I’m slowly getting to that point with me. Two steps forward, one step back I like to say! If you have body image life skills exercises, send them my way please and thank you!

My then partner mirrored for me what I truly at the core thought about myself. They say that our greatest teachers are often the people who hurt us the most. I didn’t have much self-love. I was insecure. I had fears around being who I was. But the saddest part for me was that I had no idea of that. I walked around for thirty odd years thinking everything was okay!

And yet, in retrospect it was. That was my path as this is now my path. It’s never too late or too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit…start whenever you want…you can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of anything and everything that happens to us. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that stop you. I hope you feel things that you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again….I did :). The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are!

I also hope you speak up. Don’t ever be scared to say what’s on your mind. There has to be an outlet somewhere. Don’t keep it inside because sooner or later it’s going to come out and it might be in an unhealthy way. Also, it saves you a lot of time as you don’t have to have those conversations in your head where you play out what the other person is going to say and then you respond and have a whole conversation with that person but in your head! Admit it, we’ve all done it!!! One of the neatest things I’ve learned is that it takes much less energy to have the conversation with the person then it does to have it with the person in my head and then actually with them in person too! Also, in my new-found wisdom, not everyone has to like me. I mean why wouldn’t you, but you don’t have to!!! Do you ever have conversations in your head with the person you want to speak to about something? Do you think those thoughts put undue expectations on yourself or the other person?

I grieved the relationship too which not a lot of people understood. This took time and patience with myself because there were days that I didn’t understand my grief either. This is a perfect example of when “just being” again comes in quite handy. So I would sit in the grief and let the tears wash over me. I cried for the person who felt her love was not enough, the person that felt they didn’t have a voice, the person who at times had wanted to cry but instead put a happy face on for the sake of appearances, and the person that actually had some anger in them but never knew how to express it. My advice here: cucumbers work great in these situations!! And, feel. Be in the moment you are in and feel it! Don’t sit it in for too long as you don’t want to get pruney but certainly take the time to process it!

And on the other side of the coin, I had people suggesting that staying in the relationship would have been the right thing to do. How could I fault these people when I had those same thoughts for years?! I learned for myself that letting go is something I had to do when even though I still felt love, I just don’t believe in him or us anymore. Sometimes you have to let go. You will know when it’s right for you.

Then, I had to deal with the “I’m single” label! Interesting as all of a sudden, couples don’t invite me to do stuff. I was put in the “singles” category.  Even though my partner didn’t attend functions with me up to that point, it was still okay to invite me as I was in a couple relationship???!!! So I had to reframe this for myself. Instead of “I’m single”, as that sounded like I was disappointed with myself and like I was suggesting that I was alone and/or I didn’t have anybody to love, I changed it to “I’m free”. “I’m free” captured more of the essence of how I felt. Where have you freed yourself?!

I also had to learn to be alone without being lonely. And if you want to see how that all turned out for me, you have to scroll back into my relationship posting 🙂

Fast forward to now after many more “aha” moments that have brought me to this moment! When I look in the mirror, I see a girl who’s been through so much and yet, she still finds a way to smile at the past. She still loves with all her heart! And when you see her walking, I can guarantee you she’ll have her head up high. She is still learning to love herself in the same way she loves others and in the way others love her. My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style! What’s your personal mission?

I believe we write our own stories and each time we think we know the end, we don’t. Perhaps luck exists somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance, and the peace that comes from knowing that you just can’t know it all. You know, life’s funny that way. Once you let go of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all, as well as the control and the being all-knowing, you might end up right where you belong! Remember every new beginning is some beginning’s end. Welcome to wherever you are! This is your life; you’ve made it this far.

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark.  Do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved, but never have been able to reach. The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours…

I loved that I journalled this and have continued to do so…it’s quite amazing to see where my life was and where I’ve taken it to! As I have chosen to do Vision Boards for the advertisement to myself, I can see where I’ve piloted my life since the start of 2010….very powerful!!!

Depending on where you are reading this from: Good Morning! Good Afternoon! Good Night! I wish you an amazingly fantastical journey and look forward to Learning To FLY with you!

A “Born Again Virgin” Blogger!

January 19, 2016 at 10:00 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

“The bad news is time flies by. The good news is you’re the pilot!” ~ Michael Althsuler

2009 was a pretty hazy year for me in that I left my children’s father, moved five provinces twice in four months, started two businesses, and dealt with some crazy landlords and tenants. I’ll let that sink in for a minute. Oh and did I mention this was with two children whom I was 100% responsible for?!

On the flip side, I left my children’s father which was an abusive relationship and took the necessary steps to heal from it.  I moved five provinces from BC to ensure I stayed out of an unhealthy relationship and moved back to BC when I was strong enough to do so. I started two businesses that are successful to this day! And the landlords/tenant situations gave me the understanding of just how powerful my intentions can be! Plus, I taught my children that there is always a way, there are relationships that look different then how their Dad’s and mine did, and that you can always change your mind.

Ending 2009 and starting 2010, I started truly learning to love myself. I knew that in order to truly love myself, all my years of schooling, life experiences, and work experiences would come into play to shape who I was choosing to be. So in coming out of what could have been a really dark place, I designed Learn To F.L.Y. (First Love Yourself)!

This is a four step process that is designed to help someone who is transitioning. For example, you could be:
-moving from one calander year to the next,
-transitioning into a new career or starting a business,
-wanting to make some different life choices around your physical, mental or spiritual  health,
-or simply changing your relationship status on facebook ;)!

The four step process is to help someone:
1. Get clear on who they are (and aren’t) and what they want (and don’t want) out of piloting their dream life!
2. Discover self-sabatoging patterns, as well as amazing life skills that they already posses to move them toward a life of their dreams!
3. Learn how to make SMART goals that are specifically designed for them to move towards what they are transitioning to. As well as how to move forward without knowing the how to get there.
4. To create an advertisement for themselves of they life they want: be it a vision board, a mantra, a one word theme, a song, and/or affirmations!

Now, as I leave each year, I do the above four steps ALWAYS to ensure I am the pilot in my life and am still continuing on the path of Learning To F.L.Y. (First Love Myself).

I’d like to share where I was when I closed out my 2009 year and was heading into 2010!

Taken from my 2009 blog entry:

As we leave 2009 & head into 2010, I have two life skills exercises that I’m going to do in regards to shaping my future. I wasn’t always conscious of the fact that I wasn’t actively piloting my life. Upon reflection, I was reacting to what was happening in my life and with no clear life plan to use as a guide, I got lost. In having gained this consciousness, I want to ensure that 2010 is a year I pilot. Would you like to be the passenger or the pilot in your life?

Exercise #1: What I Learned About Myself Over The Year

Know thyself. ~ Socrates

As 2009 has flown by, I want to see what I’ve learned about myself in the Life Skill areas of Hands, Health, Head and Heart. (Please click on the Tab at the top labelled Life Skills  to get a more defined look at the Life Skills in each of the four categories.)

  1. In making a decision to leave the person that I thought I would have been spending the rest of my life with, after realizing that the relationship was unhealthy, I showed integrity and strength for myself and my children. And writing about this was quite freeing.
  2. Through counselling & intense reading binges, I am able to describe what an unhealthy relationship looks like and feels like. By doing this, I am not letting that define who I am, but am using the information to ensure to not repeat being involved in an unhealthy relationship in the future. I was able to learn from my mistakes & role model that learning for my children.
  3. Subconsciously, I had always felt as though I needed to be superhuman in my daily life: perfect career, perfect house, perfect children, perfect smile, and the list goes on. Since perfection is unattainable, I needed to constantly do more and do it better. I’ve now hung my superwoman cape up and will only bring it out on “special occasions” (like Halloween, get your minds out of the gutter)! Also, I know I am perfectly me!
  4. If you reviewed all I’ve done in the past year on a “stress chart”, I would be off the chart. What a ride this past year has been! But guess what? I am standing on my own two feet while still supporting two other sets of feet and by no means doing it in a manner in which compromises the health or safety of myself or my children. I am proud of myself & am slowly able to see why people say that I am an inspiration & that I can do anything I put my mind to.
  5. In hearing about a friend diagnosed who had financial concerns, I was able to lead the efforts of a pretty fantastic fundraiser. While helping a family in need, this also enabled me to see myself in the light others did: caring, smart, motivated, organized, influential, inspiring, pretty, authentic, awesome, resilient, determined, courageous, unstoppable, an inspiration, an up-and-coming, genuine, and kind! And all along I thought I was just Amber Scotchburn, you know “Scotch” like the drink and “burn” like when you drink it! Who knew people saw more than that when they saw me? And now to truly start seeing that for myself in myself.
  6. I reconnected with a lot of people this year based on having an authentic, meaningful relationship, not based on having kids in the same class or living on the same street, etc. After having read, The Nice Girl Syndrome (see link on the side under recommended reading), in combination with all the realizations from above, I truly realized that I was a great person to have as a friend and had the right to not only feel that way but to know I had the right to deserve the same in return. By coming to these realizations, I connected with people who feel similarly. The friendships that have flourished this past year have been incredible, as has the dialogue. You all know who you are and I am grateful for you every day!
  7. I realized that I have the right to say no without feeling fear, obligation or guilt. I still sometimes justify but I am trying my best not to! Finding my voice and using it has been incredible!
  8. That along with being super woman, being a “nice girl” has to go. On the right hand side of the page, under recommended reading, please click and see the ten chapters titles in Part Two of The Nice Girl Syndrome as that described me to a “t”. Since discovering that I’ve had quite a few opportunities to choose to act like a nice girl again. I actually had somebody who was trying to bully me say to me, “you are not a nice girl” & in my head I gave a little cheer! I felt as though I had reached a pinnacle!
  9. I learned there was such a thing as “sickness empathy”…who knew? I thought that you  always put yourself in the other person’s shoes and did your best to act how they would. Well as one of my children said to me, “What if the shoes don’t fit?” I had said to them on many occasion (not in so many words): “You try to make them fit.” But really my child was right, if they don’t fit (ie. the decision doesn’t feel right to you), don’t wear them! Hmm…there is that intuition that over the years I’ve stopped recognizing as that & thought of it more as gas! However, I am listening to my body more.
  10. There are people out there that are going to cheat, lie & steal no matter who you are & no matter who they are. I have to remember to not take it personally!
  11. The recognition that everyday in the new year, I have to work on my body image, being happy for no reason & the reactions I have to stress, anxiety & conflict.
  12. The knowledge that first family relationships, as well as any others I have lost due to reacting, need to be nurtured.
  13. I LOVE to read & see myself growing my business just so I can research and write more workshops!


I loved that I journalled this and have continued to do so…it’s quite amazing to see where my life was and where I’ve taken it to! As I have chosen to do Vision Boards for the advertisement to myself, I can see where I’ve piloted my life since the start of 2010….very powerful!!!

Depending on where you are reading this from: Good Morning! Good Afternoon! Good Night!  I wish you an amazingly fantastical journey and look forward to Learning To FLY with you!

“Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.”

March 26, 2011 at 5:37 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I realized in looking back that I didn’t finish detailing my exploration into how I was still automatically using the word “can’t” in relation to money. Upon realizing this, I did some investigation into what was subconsciously triggering that for me.

I started with reading self-help themed books in relation to money. I re-read books which are all based on the classic, “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. This was an interesting affirmation of what I believe in other areas in my life and really needed to focus on in relation to money. I’m currently working through the workbook associated with this. I will update my “aha’s” as I complete it. I then read, “Twenty-One Distinctions of Wealth”. I will share my “aha’s” below. Next, a girlfriend and I are going to read through and process together the book,”Overcoming Underearning”. Lastly, I will read a book called “It’s not about the money : unlock your money type to achieve spiritual and financial abundance“. This one attracted me as the author wrote it from the premise of blending his two very different worlds: yogi by morning and stock broker by day. Again, I will share my findings from that book too.

I also took a 3 part workshop in which diads and meditation-group hypnotiziation  were used. The workshops would start with a central question and in partners each would ask the other the question. There was to be no dialogue about one’s answer. All the listener did was hear it, acknowledge that they were hearing it and wait for the speaker to note that they had completed their answer. Then the listener answered. By the second and third workshop the facilitator had specific questions for each person to answer, but the diad prcoess of question/answer continued. These question/answer periods lasted about 45 minutes. Interestingly you could really get to the core of your thoughts and feelings when totally focussing on your own “stuff” without any judgement or dialogue from another on it.

I learned through the diad process that I am afraid to have money as I feel I will be taken advantage of. This came out in the second session and totally caught me off guard. In retrospect and in the looking at my past in relation to people of significance having taken money from me, repeatedly, it makes logical sense. However, certainly was not a conscious thought. I’m thankful for this process bringing this from my subconscious into the conscious for me. I’ve since been able to talk this through with people. I really thought that by not having much of anything, I was protecting myself from being hurt. Lots of deep breaths and some tears in relation to limiting myself as a result of past hurts and being so unaware of the unconscious thought patterns that were ruling my life. I’ve very thankful for this realization.

Another “aha” I had for myself was this: I am truly happy with what I have. I feel so blessed with what I do have.

-I have time with my kids. There is no rushing to work for a certain time or to commute every day. Instead I have that time with them before and after school. I can attend their special functions at school. I can be there for them when they are sick or need a mental health day.

-I get to do what I love every day which is help people. I’ve created a company based on my skill sets and the needs I see in society. I’m building a company in which people see the value in what I’m creating. This is truly amazing!

-I live in the most beautiful place: ocean and mountain views pretty much no matter where you are. Skiing and swimming in the same day! More parks than you can imagine. A country feel with city amenities. A place where everybody knows your name. A community where you can feel connected everywhere you go.

-I get to explore my potential every day. While pleasure can disapoint, possibilities do not!

-I have the freedom to think for myself and decide what’s best, not have it dictated to me.

-I have my health and my children’s health.

-I have amazing friends and family!

-What I do have, the riches in my soul, cannot be taken from me, unlike material possessions can.

-I get to explore the pursuit of wealthy but not through being enslaved to anybody or anything.

-I have learned that one can flourish on very litle material wise, when they have everything I’ve just mentioned above!

I look at what I “have” and I am filled with awe. I wouldn’t trade it for any of the financial security I had in my past.

I’m meant to be where I am and I’m thankful every day for the wealth that I do have.

My next entry will be about what else I’ve learned in relation to my specific money blockages. As this is what I’m exploring in depth, I hope you are able to glean something for yourself as well.

Good Night! Good Morning! Thanks for stopping by!


“The only way to discover the limits of the possible, is to go beyond them into them impossible.”

March 23, 2011 at 3:47 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Tonight I am starting on a new journey for myself. This journey culminates everything I’ve been and done up to this point in my life. It encompasses all my new found beliefs. It will be a test of who I am and what I believe.

There are certain moments I can remember as a child where I felt different. Deep moments which I’d stop and really think about certain questions and actually experience such emotion that I would cry. I wondered why we were all on the planet? Why  the whole world could not join hands and sing kumbaya? Why anybody would ever abuse another? Why we called some groups cults but not the Catholic church to which I belonged? Why it was ok to judge another to the point of it justifying hateful acts and words? Why people limited others by telling them what they could and could not do? I can remember each of these moments so clearly, where I was,  the deep feeling experienced and how I would ask the questions but nobody seemed to have an answer. I chalked it up to being a kid and not really understanding what I was asking or being able to comprehend an adult’s response to my questions. And back to skipping I went!

An event happened to me when I was in high school that really started me on a new journey of understanding. A dear family friend who was younger than me, committed suicide. It was not my first experience with suicide; however, this time it was different. The person left a note that explained why she felt she needed to end her life. For her, it was about the deep pain she felt being alive having had traumatic events happen to her. The emotions she felt that didn’t seem to be able to be explained away in traditional counselling sessions and she tried a lot of different venues and counsellors to help her move through these experiences. When they read the letter, I knew it was my life calling to help people and the difference I wanted to offer was to have alternative ways to help people. I had no idea what that looked like but knew I wanted people to be able to move through what she experienced.

As I grew older, I consistently had that one thing, wanting to help people, in the back of my mind. I wasn’t sure how to define that any more clearly than simply that statement. I realized quickly that the world we live in was full of experiences that could cause people to need help. As well, that two findings were important here: 1) the world needed me and 2) that incidents people experienced I wanted people to see as just that an experience, not who they were, because maybe if my friend was able to do that she would have been able to move past her feelings.

I also started to realize that while I wanted to work with individuals, I also saw groups that needed their mind sets shifted in order to affect mass change. This prominent moment came to me when I was in university taking my social work degree. I was denied certain work placements, such as a teen pregnancy centre, because of my Catholic upbringing. I began to explore why that would be?! In this case, it was specifically because I would automatically assumed to be pro-life. But wow as I explored this question, what I discovered shocked my sheltered little world. People outside of the Catholic world, did not necessarily like Catholics and the things I had heard about “others” were the same things these “others” had heard about Catholics. Hmm…this set me first on a mission of getting to work with a population that I wanted to (teen moms) but it developed into a path that I did not know existed.

I’m going to simplify here to get to the point! I was raised in a Catholic household and was taught to believe certain things, like abortion should not be a choice. And that there were “others”, being those that were not Catholic, who were wrong in their beliefs because of course, the Catholic way was right and the only way. In university, this was tested in so many ways. My final thesis was how could the pro-life side and the pro-choice side find a common ground. What I learned in researching for this was that common ground can always be found, what needed to be removed was the “right” versus “wrong”, the “us” versus “them” mentality. And that the heart of the matter (so in this case the person with the pregnancy and the choice she needed to make) needed to be focussed on and through that grounded focussed solutions would arise. And in these cases it was in the moment that a decision needed to be made by the woman, regardless of her past and her future. Wow, what a learning for me to truly have to be in the moment while working through past choices that had brought the person to this point in time and realizing that the future could not be predicted. All that while balancing the emotions that come into play with a pregnancy!

After doing social work and realizing I couldn’t take everyone home and fix them 🙂  I turned to teaching where I could get enough face time and get to know students in so many different faucets that I really could affect change. “At-risk” youth became my passion and I was blessed to work with that population my whole traditional teaching career. Those experiences also contributed to where I am today: I learned that while education is important, life skills (see the life skills wheel) trump everything else.

Fast forward to today…I run a life skills based training company called Amber Scotchburn Training Consultants (ASTC) which is multifaceted. Presently, it offers tutoring and life coaching. I’m focussing on the tutoring aspect, wanting to get that biz stream to the point in which I can then begin to focus more on my life coaching. I had started this blog to attest to the fact that life skills exercises do help and was doing them and blogging about them to prove that and to be authentic. The blogging has taken a back seat while I focussed on the tutoring services of ASTC. However, I am still actively doing life skills exercising and researching life skills therapeutic options. This particular life skill activity I am doing will involve quite a mind shift for me. I’m going to reach for something that I’ve thought was impossible for me.

I’m going for hypnotherapy to obtain the body that I want: size 7, have toned muscles, be flexible in my range of motion and maintain my existing energy level. I had always felt “fat” even at size 6 working out at 3 gyms. I’ve done the Eating Right, I’ve done cleanses galore, I’ve worked out like a maniac…I actually always saw myself as the size 14 that I became. Scary”ish” 🙂 So, actually being a size 14 and not being able to drop any of the weight with so much exercise and cleansing, was tell-tale that its me that we really are what we think about ourselves. I believe I need to go deeper, to a cellular level.

I am doing this for reasons beyond myself as well. I was approached to partner with someone to do my life coaching. I had put my life coaching aside to focus on growing the tutoring end of my biz as I mentioned above. This partnership combined with this therapy, will allow me to accomplish my dreams! It’s so, so, so exciting and nerve-racking 🙂  Plus, it really is a test for myself because if I don’t put myself into what I believe others should do to shift their mind sets then what good am I as a life coach?! Plus, stopping to think about this therapy and what it can do, is amazingly awesome!!! I’ve been researching cellular release for over a year. It has cured serious diseases, addictions, and traumatic events people have experienced. CURED them.

Good Night! Good Morning! Thanks for stopping by!

ps=Tonight I’m changing IMPOSSIBLE into “I’M POSSIBLE”!

Birthday Poem

March 14, 2011 at 5:55 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

As some of you might know, it is my birth MONTH! Yes not it was my “birthday”, it is my birth MONTH! I mean really why not celebrate as much as you can! It is my part of my most recent vision boards to celebrate more. I find in our pace of life, we sometimes forget to appreciate where we’ve been and where we are. This year I’ve made a committment to myself to do that and I certainly did that this month. And let me tell you, it was fantastical! I feel such an awesome energy and sense of being! Thank you to everybody who contributed to this!



I received this card for my birthday and must share it…ENJOY 🙂

We didn’t come here to fit in.

We came here to be who we are.

We didn’t come here to work.

We came here to live our dreams.

We didn’t come here for the stuff.

We came here to love each other.

We didn’t come here by accident.

We each came here with a purpose that is uniquely our own.






This sums up my thoughts on life very succinctly.

Enjoy my beautiful birth month!



“Whether you think you can or can’t either way you are right.”

February 25, 2011 at 7:56 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Wow, does that actually use the word can’t. It does!

If you have taken Learn to Fly or spent any length of time with my children and I, you would know that “can’t” is not an acceptable word in my world. I believe that you can do anything you put your mind, body, and soul into.  You can also chose not to do something. In either case, the person is taking responsibility for deciding whether to do something or not.

My experience is that using the self-limiting words, such as can’t, never, should and always leads one to self-limiting thoughts, actions, habits, etc. This quote sums it up quite nicely for me:

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

However in this case, the quote used in the title uses the word “can’t” to illustrate the same point I am!

On my vision boards, both personal and biz, there are areas related to money. In every area of my three boards, I was very clear on the affirmation, the aha moment or the goal related to that particular area. However, for the visualizations/words that represented the areas of finance, I was drawing a blank.

In the Learn to Fly course, I have a blank artist canvas that I use to illustrate a point. The canvas has the foam word “believe” in front of it. This is to symbolize that sometimes we are not going to know the path we have to take or have the answer immediately to a question or problem we need solved; but that we need to have faith that the universe, simply because we have acknowledged it and stated that we were looking for some guidance in that area, will help in figuring out a solution. I like to sum it up like we are co-starring with the universe in the  movie of our lives and you have to trust your co-star! So I was doing my best to be patient 😉

I still up to just the other day, had not written out an affirmation, had a aha moment to speak of or wrote a goal for the money pictures. However knew they are important to me, so ensured that I would spend a moment or two each day, focussing on the visualizations that represented them on my boards.

In my Learn to Fly workshops, I ask people to focus on where in their lives they catch themselves using the words can’t, should, never, & always. And guess what? I made an interesting discovery for myself. Ever since I can remember I’ve had the conversation with my children about using the word can’t. We don’t use it, I prefer the children to say  that they are choosing not to do whatever it is, as opposed to saying they can’t do it. But I realized that I was using the word can’t in relation to money, constantly. “We can’t afford to do that.” “We can’t spend that kind of money.” And not only was I using it, my “use of the word can’t” radar didn’t even go off. This was not good.

So, that meant that I had to start to delve a little deeper into what was blocking my conscience from realizing that I was using the word “can’t” in relation to money and what was lodged into my sub-conscious to have me automatically respond with the word “can’t” only in relation to money. Hmm…

True to Amber-fashion, I was not going to leave any stone unturned! This lead me on an interesting path of hypnotherapy, number crunching, marketing planning and of course, life skills exercises, all centered around money.

Stay tuned for what I discovered 🙂

Good night! Good morning! Thanks for stopping by!

“Love is like the truth, sometimes it prevails, sometimes it hurts.”

February 14, 2011 at 2:55 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, as well as in doing research for my new couples vision board workshop: Learn to Burn, I attended a seminar entitled The Brain in Love. It was extremely interesting as it explained love from a chemical perspective.

There are a lot of chemicals racing around your brain and body when you’re in love. Researchers are gradually learning more and more about the roles they play both when we are falling in love and when we’re in long-term relationships.

That initial giddiness that comes when we’re first falling in love includes a racing heart, flushed skin and sweaty palms. Researchers say this is due to the dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine we’re releasing. Dopamine is thought to be the “pleasure chemical,” producing a feeling of bliss. Norepinephrine is similar to adrenaline and produces the racing heart and excitement. Together these two chemicals produce elation, intense energy, sleeplessness, craving, loss of appetite and focused attention. “The human body releases the cocktail of love rapture only when certain conditions are met and … men more readily produce it than women, because of their more visual nature.” Making love at first sight a real possibility! Due to this chemical activity, couples in this stage of love focus intently on the relationship and often on little else.  They are actually biological drive to focus on one person and have states of euphoria, craving and addiction.

People in love also have lower levels of serotonin and the neural circuits associated with the way we assess others are suppressed. These lower serotonin levels are the same as those found in people with obsessive-compulsive disorders, possibly explaining why those in love “obsess” about their partner.

In romantic love, when two people have sex, oxytocin is released, which helps bond the relationship. The hormone oxytocin has been shown to be “associated with the ability to maintain healthy interpersonal relationships and healthy psychological boundaries with other people.” When it is released during orgasm, it begins creating an emotional bond — the more sex, the greater the bond. Oxytocin is also associated with mother/infant bonding, uterine contractions during labor in childbirth and the “let down” reflex necessary for breastfeeding.

Vasopressin, an antidiuretic hormone, is another chemical that has been associated with the formation of long-term, monogamous relationships. Oxytocin and vasopressin interfere with the dopamine and norepinephrine pathways, which might explain why passionate love fades as attachment grows.

Endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers, also play a key role in long-term relationships. They produce a general sense of well-being, including feeling soothed, peaceful and secure. Like dopamine and norepinephrine, endorphins are released during sex; they are also released during physical contact, exercise and other activities. Endorphins induce a “drug-like dependency.”

What about when that euphoric feeling is gone? The speed at which courtship progresses often determines the ultimate success of the relationship. What they found was that the longer the courtship, the stronger the long-term relationship.

The feelings of passionate love, however, do lose their strength over time. Studies have shown that passionate love fades quickly and is nearly gone after two or three years. The chemicals responsible for “that lovin’ feeling” (adrenaline, dopamine, norepinephrine, phenylethylamine, etc.) dwindle. Suddenly your lover has faults. Why has he or she changed, you may wonder. Actually, your partner probably hasn’t changed at all; it’s just that you’re now able to see him or her rationally, rather than through the blinding hormones of infatuation and passionate love. At this stage, the relationship is either strong enough to endure, or the relationship ends.

If the relationship can advance, then other chemicals kick in. Endorphins, for example, are still providing a sense of well-being and security. Additionally, oxytocin is still released when you’re having sex, producing feelings of satisfaction and attachment. Vasopressin also continues to play a role in attachment.

The conclusion: If you’ve ever been in love, you’ve probably at least considered classifying the feeling as an addiction. And guess what?! You were right! As it turns out, scientists are discovering that the same chemical process that takes place with addiction takes place when we fall in love.

Good Morning! Good Night! Thanks for stopping by!

The Vision Boarding Process

January 31, 2011 at 8:33 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

A visualization board is a simple yet powerful tool that activates the universal law of attraction to begin manifesting your dreams into reality. The law of attraction states that we attract into our lives anything that we give attention.

Vision boards serve the role of programming your brain to tune into the positive intentions. This selective attention filter makes you aware of daily things that can help you achieve your goal and it’s your job to take action on those opportunities when they present themselves.

As the vision board is more about the process of what to put on your board, than simply about cutting out pictures from magazines and sticking them to a a board, we have designed courses, Learn to Fly & Learn to Burn, to help one facilitate the best vision board possible for them.

Learn To Fly

Learn to Fly was a workshop series designed to aid one in focussing on their live goals and working through times of transition.

This can be personal life goals or business goals. Areas to focus on might be: mind, body, spirit, relationships, family, finances, habits, patterns.

Times of transition might be parenthood, career direction, relationship status, health changes, a death, and the list goes on.

There is the classroom version and the dates are: February 8, 15, 22 from 7:00-8:30pm OR February 8, 15, 22 from 11:00-12:30pm.

Learn To Burn

Learn to Burn is a workshop series designed to aid a couple in focussing on strengthening their relationship as a unit. The couple examines they key ingredients to a relationship and designs a vision board that will keep the love burning between the couple!

There is the classroom version and the dates are: February 18th, 2011 from 7:00-10:00pm OR February 21st, 2011 from 7:00-10:00pm

Options: Classroom or Online

I’m just introducing the online option.  Please let me know if it interests you. I will be starting the online process as of February 7th! Participants receive emails with their homework worksheets every week. I committ to being on skype and facebook chat at a certain time every week. I will also answer personal emails and questions posted on the facebook Learn to Fly/Burn group page. This page is set up as people can then connect as they go through the process. Connection is an integral part of the process!

Thank you for your interest!


ps=This process works. I have started writing my story out in terms of the transitions I have went through in the last couple of years, starting with leaving a 10 year unhealthy relationship. I know that this process helped me see a light at the end of a tunnel! And so this year when I did the process again already having seen the light and felt the effects, it was a completely different experience! And I want everybody to experience it for themselves, their kids, their biz, their relationships!!!!!!!!

“One regret, dear world, that I am determined not to have when I am lying on my deathbed is that I did not kiss you enough.”

January 20, 2011 at 4:16 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment



This board is dedicated to my business. (And yes I’m still working on a family one and a couple one. I don’t believe in wall paper at my house, we just use vision boards!)

I have two business streams: life coaching/workshops and tutoring. This particular section is related to my life coaching/workshops. Enjoy!

As you read this section, you will notice I keep using the word help. And as a teacher and person who wants her blog to be read, you would think I would have changed it up. But really my whole life when people have asked me what I want to do, I’ve always answered “help”. As I got to the end of this section and realized I wrote help so many times, I thought to myself: “Wow. I’ve finally figured ‘IT’ out and reached what I’ve always wanted to do!!!!”  Guess these life skills exericses and mind shifting stuff actually works 😉


Life Coaching ~ Workshops Biz Stream

“Your life’s journey is about becoming more of who you are.”

I am helping people on their journey of becoming who they are, tapping into their areas of passion and helping them move through points where they might be stuck!


I am helping people question thoughts and patterns that could be detrimental to their reaching their life goals. I am helping people eradicate the word “can’t” and “should” from their vocabularies.


I am shifting people’s minds to change the spelling of “mistake” changed to “miss take” so that people live their lives not being fearful of making an error but embracing each moment that the life offers to love, to learn and to be grateful. I love helping people see their lives like a movie that has several takes to get it to to the end product. And that for each take it captures another thing that is perfect in the moment it is taken in.


I help people separate themselves from their “stories”. So that a person is who they are, not defined by who they were or want to be or think they should be. An example that first shifted my mind set was ten years ago when I was at a self-help weekend and I heard a girl get up on stage and say: “My name is Sarah and I was raped.” She stated that fact like she would have stated what she had for dinner. It was a fact that was part of who she was but did not define who she was. It blew me away that she was able to shift her mind to that state. Sometimes people need to sit in something that has happened to them and give themselves permission to experience whatever is coming up for them. I give people that opportunity while guiding them out the other side. A quote comes up for me: “I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being.” The transformation in people that have felt the release of a story is mind-blowing. Have I mentioned that I LOVE what I do?!


I help people to see that our lives are made up of a series of choices, each with a price and a benefit, and that’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.


I help people be truly grateful for their lives right in the moment they are in. I believe that having a deep gratitude for where you are in in life at any given moment allows the universe to allow more in, as well as yourself to see the range of possibilities that while having a “poor me” mindset may not be that apparent. “One regret, dear world, that I am determined not to have when I am lying on my deathbed is that I did not kiss you enough.”


I teach people what an affirmation is and how it can be used effectively. If you didn’t know, an affirmation is a wish stated as if it is already true. Thinking, saying, or writing affirmations are an easy way to bring positive change into your life. Amazing results in life come when we change our habits. Our habits change when we have a change in attitude. Affirmations are a way we can change our attitudes. Your current beliefs and habits have come about because of repeated thoughts. Many of these thoughts have been self limiting and destructive. The repetition of negative thoughts is discouraging and affects your motivation and confidence. It is hard to feel motivated when you are skeptical that you can get beneficial results. Replacing negative thoughts with affirmations, then, can help you change your attitudes and encourage you to believe in yourself and the opportunities that come your way. As you adopt more positive attitudes and feel encouraged, your actions and habits will shift. When your actions and habits come into alignment with success, then success will come to you quickly. So that is what an affirmation is!


I help shift people to being happy “just because”. In other words, that somebody is no waiting their life for something to happen or a whole list of things to be happy. That in the moment that they are in that they are able to be happy. “Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you.”


And by helping people with the areas outlined above, I am also giving people the means to help themselves through having their own “tool box of life”. This way enabling one to advance their own knowledge and transform their own life! If they need to fix something that isn’t feeling quite right, they could go to their toolbox and see what will help them adjust themselves. Just like one would go to a toolbox and get WD40 to lubricate a squeaky hinge! This might look like meditation for someone, an exercise DVD for another person, a phone card to reach out to someone they love, a journal to record their thoughts, a vision board to glance at, an online group to share with, and the list goes on 🙂


How do I accomplish all of the above? Through life skills exercises that people access either via workshops, such as the vision boarding ones, and/or through individual life coaching. Please see the workshop section of the blog or of my website.


I am going to focus on transitions. People transiting in any and all aspects of their lives, be it in their family life, their career, a relationship, with thought patterns, body issues, and the list goes on!


Further to add to the value for the client, I am working on gathering a TEAM of professionals that will all be genuine in wanting to help a client progress and shift through their transitional moments. Areas such as relationships, careers, habits, and business that I can propel people forward or help get unstuck will be my areas of expertise. Areas that I am not an expert in, I will defer to a member of the TEAM. Thereby ensuring that as people are transforming they are doing it in a safe manner with supports in place. This would be akin to a one stop shop for personal growth!


I would like this all to take place in what I refer to as a Starting Over House. There was a TV show on years ago that had the same name and the same concept. The questions I’m still mulling over are related to people actually coming to stay or it just being a day workshop type of scenario or day coaching appointment. Hmm…guess it’s time to start getting clear!



TOO AFRAID TO FLY? If you could design your dream what would it be? Move into action.

I motivate and inspire people to want to fly, coach people into designing a dream and aid people to move to action. “Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.”


Get over your fear of change.

Fear of failure, change and one’s limitations are what hold one in place. I work on eradicating those thoughts and feelings in clients.


Step away from the wall.

This has several meanings:

1) People that feel their life is not worth living; I give them something to live for: themselves.

2) People that hit walls/get stuck on their path, I help them to shift through those and even sit in them for awhile if they need to in order to move on.

3) Get people to take a leap to see what possibilities could be beyond what they can see from staying within their walls.


Aha! Moment

I help people have light shows/fireworks in their own every day existence! Moments where they feel themselves shifting into possibilities and a world full of “I can and I will”!


Yes, You Can!

I would love every person that crosses my path as a client truly be able to feel that they can do anything they put their minds to.

And the right and ability to know that they can change their minds about a path that their are on if it does not feel right to them. And in doing this, what the supports might be that they need.


Sees the possibilities.

That people look through their eyes in a new way, one that doesn’t allow for past limitations or failures or future expectations to tint their present day story.


See You Now

Live. Right. Now.

I would like to help people see the moment that they are in RIGHT NOW and live in it.


Compass Picture

I would like to help people find direction and a destination for their life’s journey and after having helped them once, have taught them the necessary skills to have the know how to find their way if the get lost.


You have to file a flight plan before leaving the driveway.

Where are you going in your life? Are you directing the movie that is your life? What is your destination? File your flight plan with me and of course, yourself, and I can guarantee that you will have success. “There is a difference between knowing the path & walking the path.”


Years ago they began a trip they’ll spend a lifetime completing.

Enabling people to see that everything they’ve been through contributes to who they are today but doesn’t define them. That everything they want to be in the future they can. And that in the moment right now that they are in, that is part of the continuum called life. I want people to asses how are they acting, thinking, behaving and being right now? Are these things they want to continue doing? Are their things that they would like to change or shift? I want people to see that all it takes is a first step and they are on their way. Remembering that each step is part of their journey! “Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life.”


Good Morning! Good Night! Thanks for stopping by!



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