How do you know you are beautiful inside & out?

January 15, 2011 at 7:35 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

How do you know when you are beautiful inside and out? U just know. SPECIAL.

This is a question that I’ve struggled with for awhile. I always believed I was just who I was and that person shined through and created a certain presence. However in being conscious of that presence and those looking in on it, I would adapt who I was. So it was almost like I was two people, the one doing the action and then the one assessing the action and adjusting it based on who was around. Sound confusing? Well imagine how much energy that took! In making a conscious choice to no longer do that for the past year, but to focus on just being (which I may make sound easy however note that it took me a year!!!), I’ve come to realize that there are certain things that I want to help me feel that way. I want to feel special. Going back to how I was raised (yes Mom, sorry have to do it!), I was raised that wanting to feel special was somehow inherently wrong. Good girls didn’t seek that attention. Special was for those that for some reason were less and therefore needed something extra to feel whole. Guess what? I’m whole, I want to feel special and I’m a nice girl!!!!

What does that look like for me? Being looked at in the eye when one is talking to me. Being asked in a genuine manner how I am and what makes me who I am. Being given a look or a touch which I know is just for me. Having my favourite food remembered. Having my birthday celebrated (yes for a month!). Having my voice heard. Feeling loved, appreciated, and respected. And the biggest learning in this all, was to know that I first had to feel this way about myself and start treating myself this way before I could reasonably expect anybody else to. And also to know that at the end of the day, it was ok to not only realize I wanted this but to ask for it.

Thank you to everybody who on this journey has helped me feel special! You’ve contributed to me seeing that this is a destination I want to have. And just an FYI: my birthday month is March 🙂

Good Morning! Good Night! Thanks for stopping by!